America finally decided to take its own side in the fight for civilization by canceling the concert tour visa for a ridiculous British punk/rap duo called Bob Vylan – get it? It’s like “Bob Dylan,” except “Vylan,” which sounds like “villain.” That’s the cleverest thing about them. They are basically Milli Vanilli with tattoos, worse music, and less originality – though, having heard snippets of their gawdawful racket, if I were them, I’d cop to plagiarism like the OG Milli Vanilli rather than take the blame for creating the sonic atrocities they call songs. It’s bad even for metal rap, with lots of shrieking about how they want to kill Jews, among other things. Wikipedia describes their oeuvre thusly: Bob Vylan “merges elements of punk, hip hop, grime, and hardcore, and features criticisms of the British establishment, inequality, racism, sexism, and homophobia.” It sounds bad enough that you can probably get Harvard class credit just for listening to it.
