Meeting in a top-secret, smoke-filled war room, U.S. generals agreed on a plan earlier this week to invade the foreign dictatorship known as “Canada” and establish a democracy there.
“Gentlemen, it’s time,” said General Butch “Meathead” Tanner of the U.S. Army as he munched a cigar. “We can’t let this evil, religious zealot Trudeau oppress his people any longer. It’s time to let freedom ring.”
“And by ‘let freedom ring’, of course, I mean ‘rain down an ungodly amount of explosives,'” he added. “I love democracy.”
And we’re moving the capitol to Red Deer.
