It is 3 years since Kathy passed away on Jan 9 2021.
The weather kept me away from her resting place today but I will stop by on the weekend to visit and retrieve her Christmas wreath.
A copy of C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed caught my eye before Christmas, whether it was pushed or pulled into view by Kathy or the cat I cannot say. Maybe both had a hand in it.
Not the first time something seemed meant to catch my eye and not the first time a cat was involved.
From the inscription it was given by Kathy to her Mum Joan when K’s beloved Grandfather passed away. K always wished I had met him.
At any rate I am probably better off for having it fall into view.
It contains observations that shore up the soul having put to words a universal experience I could only clumsily describe:
“I think I am beginning to understand why grief feels like suspense. It comes from the frustration of so many impulses that had become habitual. Thought after thought feeling after feeling, action after action, had H. for their object. Now their target is gone. I keep on through habit fitting an arrow to the string, then I remember and have to lay the bow down. So many roads lead through to H. I set out on one of them. But now there’s an impassable frontierpost across it. So many roads once; now so many culs de sac.”
Worth a look if you have need.
The Holidays are over for another year and I am glad to see them go as they can never be the same without Kathy.
20 years of Christmas’s and New Years were not nearly enough. I would give anything to make her Holiday favourites again.
I do not know what this year will bring but I feel that some change is afoot. We shall see.
Thank you all for giving so much hope.
